What I Wish I Had Known About Cruise Life

As seen in Riga.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to provide insight for performers who may find themselves with a cruise contract on the table in front of them, wondering if they are missing anything. As much research as I did prior to embarkation (i.e. online forums, friends who sailed in the past, talks with casting), the following points are some things that I discovered while on contract. PLEASE NOTE! These items are neither meant to convince, nor discourage anyone who may be considering employment on a cruise ship. This is simply information I thought to be valuable.

1. WiFi is expensive. On my ship, the best deal in 40 euros for 5 GB, lasting 30 days. The route I took in order to save money and live an (almost) Instagram-less life was to purchase a smaller deal, 10 euros for 1 GB per 30 days, which I renewed every 10 days. Then, whenever I was in a port with not much to do, I parked myself at a good coffee shop with free wifi to blog, Facetime, and download to my heart's desire!

2. You don't get as much time in ports as you think. Yes, you see a LOT of the world, and the world is beautiful! But, amidst rehearsals, drills, meetings, free food onboard, etc. there are usually only a couple hours for you to browse a city. Solution: Do your research about prominent port cities beforehand. You can also ask the guides, who are constantly taking the guests on excursions, what they would recommend doing with the amount of free time you have. And sometimes, a nice little walk around a port is all you need!

3. In Port Manning (IPM). This little guy comes with the territory. If you are a crew member onboard, every fourth port day you must stay on the ship. This is to ensure that if something were to happen to the ship, at least a quarter of the crew would be there to take care of the emergency. Check with casting if this is even part of your contract, as more and more cruise companies are giving performers guest-status. However, for the rest of us, IPM gives you a day to you do your laundry for as long as possible, wistfully look out the windows as you run on the treadmill, and eat in the empty passenger restaurants because all of the guests are having fun with the rest of your cast mates in Bergen. It's fine, I'm fine.

6. Speaking of being a crew member, the drills! Oh the drills. If you are part of the crew, you must take part in drills. You will temporarily don the life jacket and crew hat that deem you in charge and knowledgeable of all things drill-related. The fact that it is your literal job to keep passengers physically safe and organized at all times suddenly hardens into a cold fact. What if the ship were to actually sink? It is my job to make sure everyone remains calm and to guide guests safely to the lifeboats. If you think about it, this is pretty hardcore. My job is "PAX Muster Station Bravo," which means I herd passengers to Muster Station B, check them in, and try to distract children from realizing they are standing with a life jacket on for evaaaa. Each drill lasts 45 minutes to an hour. There are also surprise drills just for the crew, involving lack of technology, no-go areas, lost children, the walkie talkies are all broken, etc.

3. There is No. Space. Assume your cabin is Harry Potter-broom-closet-size and bring as little as possible. Ideally, this would be a large suitcase, a carry-on suitcase, and a backpack. The carry-on should fit in the suitcase. I would also recommend duffel-bag suitcases, because they are much easier to store. Don't worry, you will wear the same thing every week, and nobody will care. Also, there is laundry on the ship!

4. Costuming will provide all of your shoes, performance and rehearsal! I foolishly brought all of my Laducas and technically I don’t need any of them. There are some cabaret events where I like to wear my shoes, but for the most part they sit in my closet.

5. We are mandated to wash and sanitize our hands all the time. My eczema is on a whole new level. But, all I can do is endure it because GI is a real thing and apparently it is not cute. A cruise ship's worst nightmare is Code Red, where you can only go to your cabin, crew mess, and your work area, lest you risk contamination. Code Red is the plague.

7. The food is good! I thought I would have trouble, but the problem is that I could be eating too much! Though, I did not know that they put a stool-softener in some of the food.... I mean, the toilet system has to work somehow...... and to be fair, I have never had more regular poops in my life! 🙌

8. I did not expect how rocky it would be on Cara. Check the size of your ship, and where it is going, in order to prepare yourself accordingly. Cara is tiny and we went to Norway in the winter, so I was definitely in for it. However, I never puked, and the sea-sickness subsides very quickly! If your ship is huge, you will be totally fine.