SEA LIFE: Part 1

Hello hello! I am writing a two-part blog post on ship life. This first post is a glossary for some words that I throw around while talking to friends back in the USA. I realized some are definitely not universal terms. I hope this will shed some light on what I mean when I say, “Yeah, we have a PAX change today,” or “I had IPM after a sea day, but it was an overnight in Riga so we were all good!”

Glossary

In Port Manning (IPM)- The system ensuring that at least ¼ of the crew remain onboard at every port in case of an emergency.

Each port day has an assigned letter: A, B, C, or D. Every crew member is also assigned one of those 4 letters. I have IPM D, so if it is IPM D in Stockholm, I can’t explore. Instead, I read and gym! Crew members can find out what days they have IPM by consulting the IPM schedule, which we receive monthly. IPM switches letters at 6:00 am. So, let’s say we have an overnight in Stockholm. The first day is C, so I can get off and (theoretically) go party until 6:00 am the next morning. Then, it turns to D, and I have to be back onboard or else bad things happen.

There is also IPM X (OOOOH FANCY!). My friend, George, has IPM X because he is an officer by being our Show Supervisor. He shares IPM X with our Show Manager. Either George or our SM has to be onboard at all times. This has its ups and downs. George can technically get off wherever he wants, but he has to coordinate with his IPM partner.

“Evy, will you be my adventure buddy in Stockholm? Ohwaitjustkiddingnevermind you have IPM. Sorry!”

PAX- The abbreviation for “passengers.”

We never use “PAX” in front of passengers.

“We have IPM, so let’s go eat in the PAX restaurant! It will be empty because all the PAX are off exploring.”

Drill- An evacuation evacuation exercise that takes place for all crew and new PAX at the beginning of each cruise.

A drill must happen every seven days, so on 10 and 14-day cruises there are two. The ship cannot depart until the drill has taken place. The very first drill I had, I was in full Madonna hair and makeup, a life jacket, and my cap, directing German passengers to their correct muster stations. What a sight I must have been!

“Will we even have time for a spacing rehearsal? Last time, the drill lasted an hour and a half. And I still have to eat dinner!”

Muster Station- Where people gather onboard during drills and real emergencies.

Everyone has an assigned Muster Station, located next to the lifeboats. As I am in charge of organizing people at a PAX Muster Station, and I speak English natively, I am in charge of the walkie-talkie during drills.

“Muster Coordinator for Station Bravo?” “Bravo, go ahead.” “PAX incomplete on Bravo. Missing cabin numbers 6004, 6133. . .”

Sea Day - A day spent at sea, traveling between ports.

Normally, cruise ships sail at night. If the distance between two ports is too great to cover in the span of a night, a sea day takes place. We had lots of sea days on the 14-day Norway cruises, as there was a lot of sea to cover. Onboard, activities are planned for the guests so that they do not succumb to boredom.

“Want to go to the gym with me tomorrow around 1? It’s a sea day—“ “NOPE. Ru Paul is tomorrow at 1.”

Overnight- When a ship stays in a port overnight.

Wow, double the adventure!

“And if you want, you can go crazy in Oslo since we have an overnight! But you will pay greatly for your antics, because Norway is mad expensive.”

Rough Sea- When the ship is rocking, thus making dancing onstage hard, especially the slow walks.

There are various levels of rough sea. Sometimes, the swells are predictable; sometimes the wind tilts the ship further to one side. The worst is when the waves crash against the ship seemingly at random and your sense of balance is never accurate enough to save you from stumbling in front of everyone, even though you are The Dancer onboard. The Bridge has quantitatively defined two types of rough sea: “Attention, please close all portholes on Deck 2 . . . (Everyone holds their breath and silence falls over the crew mess.) and Deck 3 (Everyone groans and swears.).” If we have to close Deck 3 portholes, we are in for it.

“Ah, rough sea. Never have I had the license to recklessly eat bread and potatoes in order to get through a show without puking.”

Check-In Duty- The ship duty that Entertainment is usually assigned.

As we are part of the crew, we do sometimes have side duties. On Embarkation Days, the show ensemble and band are most often found in the terminal, checking new PAX in, taking their pictures, and handing them their assigned room cards, all the while cheerfully communicating with them. After all, we are their first impression of their trip. Even though most of us do not speak German.

“Hallo, willkommen! Kabine nummer, bitte? Danke schön. . . . ok, now, eine foto, bitte? Wait, let me just turn you around, the sun is wrong… Entschuldigung! Perfekt! Passports? Uhhhh, Reisepass? Clar. Uh, eine minuten, this phone scanner is nicht gut hahahahaha ah! Perfekt. Alle is gut, und uh, bordkartes diesen weg! Danke schön! Fiel späβe! Ciao!” Phew. And again. And again. And again.

Pool Show- A show that takes place outside on the Pool Deck.

There are multiple levels that we utilize, each covered in astro turf to make our lives more interesting. Stage right, there is a small rondel. Stage left, there is a jacuzzi. Guess what side of the stage I’m always on.

“Evy, just make sure you don’t fall into the Jacuzzi.”

BB3- A cabaret/ spot that allows the guests to see the cast outside of the theatre and away from Pool Deck.

These spots usually require individual preparation, one rehearsal, and a sound check. They are meant to make the guests feel as though they are witnessing something special and unplanned.

Some examples of BB3s that I have done include:

Cast Meets Band- We all sing!

ABBA Night- Singing, plus I choreographed “Dancing Queen” for the singers.

Clubtreffen- A short evening for the passengers with the most cruises under their belts, filled with “thank yous,” champagne, song and dance.

Bohemian Rhapsody- A Queen opener for a showing of the movie.

Musical Theatre Night- Everyone sang, plus a foxtrot to “Tale as Old As Time.”

“Roxanne” and “At Last”- Dance numbers used for galas, Clubtreffen, Boulevards, etc.

Black and White Party- I sang and danced to “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.”

Kessel Buntes- Literally translating to “A Kettle of Colors,” this was a variety show where we did a jive situation to “Jailhouse Rock.”

"George, thanks for organizing everything and for doing three BB3s this cruise. You are the BB3 Queen!"